Toxic Shame
Everyone
experiences shame at one time another. It’s an emotion with physical symptoms
like any other that come and go, but when it’s severe, it can be extremely
painful and when shame becomes toxic, it can ruin our lives.
Strong feelings of shame stimulate the sympathetic nervous system,
causing a fight/flight/freeze reaction. We feel exposed and want to hide or
react with rage, while feeling profoundly alienated from others and good parts
of ourselves. We may not be able to think or talk clearly and be consumed with
self-loathing, which is made worse because we’re unable to be rid of ourselves.
Toxic shame differs from ordinary
shame, which passes in a day or a few hours, in the following respects:
·
It can hide in our unconscious, so that we’re unaware that we have
shame.
·
When we experience shame, it lasts much longer.
·
The feelings and pain associated with shame are of greater intensity.
·
An external event isn’t required to trigger it. Our own thoughts can
bring on feelings of shame.
Utsaah Psychology Clinic
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